THE TOUCHABLES
Manager: ThisIsDanny
TALENT FIRST. CONSEQUENCES LATER.
Bet on talent. Live with the wait.
The Touchables are built on conviction. This franchise consistently values talent over situation, youth over short-term comfort, and patience over panic. The philosophy has produced some excellent long-term calls, but it has also created painful stretches when the breakout arrived after the season was already lost.
Power Rank
#2
Record
5-1
Seed
2
PF
505.85
PA
350.96
FAAB Rem.
$132
Playoff Odds
88%
Proj. Pick
1.09
#2
CURRENT POWER RANKING
The Touchables may have the highest weekly ceiling in the league.
Bijan Robinson, Drake London, Garrett Wilson and Kenneth Walker give the lineup multiple high-end scoring paths, while Brock Purdy and Trevor Lawrence provide a productive Superflex foundation. Sam Darnold gives the quarterback room useful insulation behind them.
The weakness is that the bench and future capital are thinner than the starting lineup. The Touchables already moved their 2027 first and 2028 second, making this roster more dependent on converting the current window.
That urgency makes sense. The Touchables are 5-1, lead the league with 505.85 total points, and just posted 189.61 in Week 3 with six starters over 20.
CURRENT READ: Elite contender. The league's most explosive offense has already shown what happens when everything hits at once.
contender status: ELITE CONTENDER
ROSTER
STARTERS
QB — Trevor Lawrence
RB — Bijan Robinson
RB — Kenneth Walker
WR — Drake London
WR — Jameson Williams
WR — Parker Washington
TE — Sam LaPorta
WR — Garrett Wilson
WR — Pat Bryant
SUPERFLEX — Brock Purdy
BENCH
TE — Terrance Ferguson
RB — Blake Corum
WR — Jameson Williams
RB — Brian Robinson
IR
RB — Zach Charbonnet
TAXI
WR — Ja'Kobi Lane
RB — Kaelon Black
WR — De'Zhaun Stribling
WHY THE TOUCHABLES ARE DANGEROUS
- Bijan Robinson gives the roster an elite cornerstone at RB
Drake London, Garrett Wilson and Sam LaPorta create a strong young pass-catching core
Brock Purdy and Trevor Lawrence provide stable Superflex competence
Kenneth Walker adds another high-end weekly RB option
The manager is patient enough to hold talent through poor short-term situations
The roster is built around players whose value can grow rather than simply survive
WHAT COULD BLOW IT UP
- The recent blockbuster reduced depth and future flexibility
Quarterback is solid but not dominant relative to the strongest Superflex teams
Prospect conviction can become stubbornness when production lags
Young players are sometimes trusted before they are ready
Patience can turn into lost weeks before the payoff arrives
The Touchables usually identify talent early. The harder question is whether the season survives long enough for that talent to become useful.
FRANCHISE PHILOSOPHY
The Touchables are built around conviction in talent. The manager consistently values player quality over immediate situation and is willing to bet on good players trapped in bad environments if the underlying profile remains strong. Rookies and young players receive more patience here than almost anywhere else in the league.
That patience is not theoretical. The Touchables were all-in on Tetairoa McMillan early, invested heavily in Ashton Jeanty, and started Colston Loveland through long stretches before the breakout arrived. The calls were often directionally right, but the timing was brutal. Those young players eventually flashed, just not soon enough to prevent a dominant run through the toilet bowl.
THE COMMISSIONER
ARCHETYPE
League Architect
RISK PROFILE
Patient
TRADE APPETITE
Active, Selective
PROSPECT BIAS
Extreme
DRAFT CAPITAL
Current projected 2027 draft slot: 1.09
Projected draft position is based on the current standings. The Touchables are actively targeting the 2027 1.01, but the current record has them projected near the opposite end of the round.
2027
2028
TRADED TO LINE OF COKE(R)
Round 1
Round 2
TRADED TO LINE OF COKE(R)
Round 2
Round 2
FRANCHISE LORE
- League commissioner and primary architect
Believes strongly in empowered commissioner authority
Frequently reminds the league that “democracy is overrated”
Prospect believer to the point of self-inflicted pain
Was early and aggressive on Tetairoa McMillan
Invested heavily in Ashton Jeanty
Started Colston Loveland through the ugly weeks before the breakout
Young talent eventually came through, just late enough to dominate the toilet bowl
Currently obsessed with positioning for Jeremiah Smith in 2027
FRANCHISE HISTORY
The Touchables enter the first true House of Sickos season with more philosophy than hardware. Last season ended badly, with a rookie-heavy roster eventually dominating the toilet bowl instead of the playoff bracket. The long-term evaluations were often sound. The immediate results were not.
Championships
0
Runner-Up Finishes
0
Playoff Appearances
0
Best Regular-Season Finish
—
All-Time Record
—
Historic Power Rank
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